The Official Website for Carol Margaret Tetlow
4th March ·
Firstly apologies for a few days of silence. I could blame the medical centre for being very busy but the truth is that I have.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there were two consultants who worked at the same hospital, in the same speciality who were married to each other. To avoid confusion, the wife practised under her maiden name. Let's call him DrA and her Dr B.
A patient attended to see Dr B and during the consultation burst into tears, becoming inconsolable. Dr B was suitably sympathetic and passed the tissues and asked why she was so upset.
The patient apologised and hiccuped that she had just come out of a passionate affair with a married man and was heartbroken.
Dr B continued to be sympathetic and now in the process of releasing all her pent up angst, the patient carried on with the details of the affair, which Dr B listened to with one ear until the patient blurted out that the man she had been involved with was a doctor, yes at the same hospital, and yes.......
It was Dr A....
Many morals to this story, I leave them to work them out for yourselves......
7th March ·
Dear Doc Britton,
Sorry to hear you've been unwell. I thought doctors were never ill.
I was at a bit of a loss last week as I really wanted to see you, rather than anyone else. I thought about seeing Dr Bonnington but as you know, she sees Mrs Wottle, who could have told her anything about me.......So it might have been embarrassing. Then I thought of lovely Dr Jennings but she tends to run very late and sitting waiting that long plays havoc with my prostate. Dr Diamond is very young and doubtless very good but his youth worries me, whereas you and I have been round the block a few times, so understand each other, don't we?
As for the doctor doing his training....well, I'd hate to put anyone off a promising career by presenting them with my problems.
Any old how, we are due to meet tomorrow, which will be splendid and to make the occasion even more memorable, Mrs Wottle has made you a new doll wearing a knitted dress to go over that elusive spare toilet roll in your bathroom. No home should be without one. We know we've given you two already but another one should cover the downstairs cloakroom. Let us know if you need any more.
Mrs Wottle has been very busy knitting as you can tell. She's also done you a muffler to keep your neck warm. She and I have matching ones. You might have noticed them. They go nicely with our matching anoraks and jumpers.
I said to Mrs Wottle that she was a jewel among jewels, in fact she was a purl!
How we laughed.
see you tomorrow doc,
W Wottle Esq
9th March ·
Yesterday evening I had been invited to give my talk, 'GP to author' to the Ainderby Steeple and District branch of the Women's Institute. Held in an old Methodist chapel, I was relieved to realise that there was very good heating as it was another bitterly cold night.
What a splendid bunch of ladies! I was made to feel so welcome and really enjoyed speaking to an audience of perhaps twenty five, all of whom, I hope, enjoyed hearing about my tales as a doctor and my more recent life as an author.
Copies of my novels were for sale and 25% of each sale went to Breast Cancer Research Foundation. The sales and the fee for attending meant that I can send £40, which is excellent.
I'm getting better at speaking in public. I'm more relaxed and enjoy it more. As a result, I expect it comes across better also. Requests for my talk are coming in and yesterday I agreed to speak to a group on 13th November 2017! These people plan in advance and strangely I have nothing planned for that date.
Here's a photo of me and two of the lovely ladies!
13th March ·
Today's message is.....be prepared
Off I went on a visit to an elderly lady who lived alone in a small flat, where there was a warden knocking on her door every day to make sure all was well. Badly damaged by rheumatoid arthritis, she did her best to stay cheerful, which, often was not easy for her.
She had pain in her abdomen and wanted to pee all the time. After we had gone through her symptoms, sitting in her charming little sitting room and after I had admired the huge photo of her lovely husband, sadly departed, we adjourned to her bedroom so that I could examine her.
It sounded like a simple urine infection but you never can tell, so she lay down on the bed and pulled up her nightdress, revealing herself to be totally naked from the waist down. It was always one of my pet hates to leave patients exposed -
'May I use your dressing gown, just to cover you up while I examine you?' I asked.
'Oh,' she replied, 'that's not my dressing gown, that's my shroud. If I'm not feeling well then I put it on and lie down, so that if I die, I'm properly dressed.'
16th March ·
What's the best thing for chilblains? I'm ashamed to say I forgot my gloves when I went out with my camera the other day, in search of some snow. And they were a present from Mrs W! You can imagine the trouble I was in when I got home. She threatened to attach them to a long piece of string, threaded down the arms of my anorak. Not had that since I was fifteen.
Had a splendid day out while Mrs W was knitting and knattering to her friends.
I came home and showed my photos to Mrs W after I'd warmed up with a hot cocoa and some crumpet. She quite liked one of the photos but didn't like the one with the bird.
I told her to stop grousing about it! How we laughed, well we did when she'd got over her bad mood. She has quite a lot of bad moods these days -
Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Nothing much wrong with me at the moment but I'd hate to waste an appointment. If I cancel it, then something's bound to happen.....
Here's some photos for you.
19th March ·
A heart warming tale for the weekend. Love never dies.
Let's call them Bob and Ethel, an elderly devoted couple who lived in a tiny cottage in the countryside. Bob had been a farmer and Ethel, the archetypal farmer's wife with rosy cheeks and a gift for home baking ( I know this as she used to give me cakes -
Bob died, leaving a bereft Ethel on her own, gradually deteriorating but there was no way she was going to leave their home. Luckily, there were plenty of family members nearby to help her achieve this aim. The only thing Ethel wanted was to go to join Bob and that was what she prayed for every night.
She outlived Bob by a number of years but her yearning for him never dwindled. Towards the end of her own life, she became bed bound and one day she took my hand and confessed to me that she was frightened.
We talked for a long time and I promised to visit again the following day.
When I did so, she was in bed, propped up by lots of pillows but the look of fear had left her face.
'It's alright doctor,' she whispered. 'I'm not afraid any more. I went to heaven last night for a look around and saw Bob so now I'm ready to go. It was lovely.'
She closed her eyes for the final time later that day.
Lump in my throat as I'm writing this…
25th March ·
First I must apologise for missing my appointment this week. It's not like me, as you know. I'm usually there waiting at least twenty minutes before my appointment time and I expect you were worried that I wasn't there. There was a 'withheld' number stored on our phone (yes, we have all these mod cons) -
At the eleventh hour, we were invited over to some relatives and in the rush of getting ready a) I forgot to let you know and b) Mrs Wottle forgot her tablets and had to go and see a local doc, who was very obliging but not a patch on you and Dr Bonnington. He (this other doc) didn't seem at all interested when I told him about you and my ailments! He made some comment about it not being my appointment. Well! Really! That would never happen at Teviotdale Medical Centre.
But we're back now and still in one piece though Mrs Wottle's bunion is throbbing and my rash has come back ( I think it was the towel I used). Can you catch things from towels? I did notice that our host was scratching a bit and so was one of the dogs....
Two were called Hector and Rufus, one was Ben and then there was a venerable matriach called Jester.
Here's a little video I took (a venture into the unknown from my usual photography). Mrs Wottle, with her usual indefatiguable sense of humour thinks it is your next patient arriving but said he looks a bit 'ruff' and 'dog tired'!
How we laughed.
See you soon. I've missed you. I expect you feel the same.
Yours patiently, with best wishes for a happy Easter
W Wottle Esq
27th March ·
Easter Bulletin from the Medical Centre
To all patients
Please note that the surgery is closed on Good Friday (yes, we know all the shops are open but we are not) and Easter Monday (yes, the shops are open on this day too). In case of an emergency please telephone the number at the bottom of this announcement.
Chocolate is very nice but too much of it is bad for you, so moderate your intake, please. Also, please be aware that the Easter eggs that are being sold off cheaply in the pharmacy are actually made of laxative chocolate and we all know the consequences of eating that.
The local veterinary practice have asked us to point out that chocolate is bad for dogs, as are the raisins in hot cross buns, though as far as humans go, raisins, in small quantities, are good for you. It's all very confusing, isn't it?
Suddenly taking up a keep fit campaign because summer is coming is an idea and we encourage fitness improvement in all ages but it might be prudent to pop in and have a word with one of us first to avoid over-
Likewise, deciding to tidy the garden in one afternoon can be hazardous, ditto getting on with that DIY job that has been needing to be done for the last six months.
Take care! Many accidents are preventable.
Summer holidays are not far away. Remember to book in with the practice nurses for travel advice. As far as is possible, do not leave this until the day before you go. It is more important to have had the correct vaccinations than a new swimsuit with matching sarong.
The medical centre will open, as usual on Tuesday morning at 0730. It is likely to be a very busy day for the doctors and nurses, so please remember this and be patient if you need to be seen that day.
On behalf of all the doctors, please have a happy and safe Easter.
J Britton (sen partner)
E Bonnington (second in seniority)
C Jennings ( one up from bottom)
E Diamond (the newest recruit, so the one who does Friday afternoons