The Official Website  for Carol Margaret Tetlow

2nd  April · Dear Doc, Here's hoping that you're keeping well. There's a lot of chesty coughs about, so be sure to keep away from those people, though I expect your job makes that a bit tricky. Looking forward to seeing you on Tuesday. I've some home made fudge from Mrs Wottle (she's made some for Dr Bonnington as well) and we're lending you both a spoon as it hasn't quite set, so be careful how you both carry it home. It made quite a mess on the front seat of my car when I took some round to Mr Wasnian (a peace offering) and then of course he sat in it when I gave him a lift to the Post Office, so we're not speaking again. I've been out taking photos again now that the weather has been a bit better. I had to lie prostate in the wet grass to get these ones and I think I may have picked up a bladder infection but I'll tell you more when I see you. I showed the photos to Mrs Wottle. She was quite impressed. I said I was very proud of them as they were agile little creatures who moved very fast. 'Oh,' she said, sharp as a tack, 'you mean hare today, gone tomorrow!' It took me a moment but then how we laughed. Hope to see these up on the wall on Tuesday. Yours patiently W Wottle Esq

5th April ·

Memo from Elliott Douglas, practice manager, to the partners

Here is a draft copy of a notice I wish to put up in reception. Comments please before midday (yes I know it's 1108 at the moment but time is of the essence).

This is a courteous request to patients...

Please switch off your mobile phones before entering the doctor's consulting room. It is disruptive to the rapport your doctor is establishing with you and there are rarely messages that cannot wait for ten minutes or so. Answering your phone in front of the doctor is rude and wastes time. Requests to bring shopping home, affirmations of love (or indeed the opposite) and acceptances of new jobs are inappropriate when discussing your health. We are aware that a mobile phone went off in Dr Bonnington's surgery the other day and it turned out to be hers but that was only because her daughters had changed the ring tone without her knowing and she didn't recognise it, so that's different.

Also please do not eat in the consulting room. Spilling raisins on the floor makes it look as if a rabbit has been running around on the loose and crisp crumbs take a lot of sweeping up plus the salt is not good for the carpet.

Checking your makeup in the mirror (and that's not just female patients) over the washbasins in the consulting rooms before you leave is an unnecessary use of the doctors' time.

Remember, look after your doctor so that they can look after you.

Memo to Elliott from John Britton, senior partner.

Elliot, It think you ought to tone this down a tad. It seems a little aggressive. Have you had a really bad morning?

Memo to John from Elliott

Sorry, yes.

16th April ·

Firstly apologies for not posting for a while. A partial ceiling collapse and investigations for asbestos have concentrated the mind in other directions.

Mrs B was an elegant lady with severe and worsening heart valve problems. Always one to speak her mind, she was by now in her eighties and maybe limited physically but certainly not mentally. In hospital having her meds tweaked to see if some little improvement could be made, she was visited by her consultant, Dr C, a cardiologist, known for his brilliance but not his bedside manner. She had been seeing him for some years.

He pulled the curtains around her bed, stood over her while he examined her and then told her about his plans. Not really giving her any time for questions, he was on the verge of going, when she said to him.

'You really ought to smile more. You never do. You'd look so much nicer.'

He said nothing but turned on his heels and departed through the break in the curtains. She looked at her husband and shrugged.

Suddenly the curtains were pulled apart, Dr C's head only appeared, he beamed the biggest smile at her and then snapped the curtains across and disappeared.

Hooray! Happy ending!

19th  April ·

Dear Doc Britton,

Hope this finds you as well as it leaves me. I've had a really good week apart from a very itchy scalp but I'm putting this down to the new bobble hat that Mrs Wottle has made for me, using the wool she unravelled from the cat's blanket. She said it looked purrfect on me.

How we laughed.

Any old how, apart from the scalp, I've only the eleven things to discuss with you, when we meet tomorrow, so I shouldn't take up too much of your time and I've booked your first appointment so that you get me over and done with first thing!

Mr Kit Wasnian and I have buried the hatchet (not in each other's heads, I am glad to say) and been out making the most of the almost spring weather. You'llnotice he can't spell his surname and he's put his initial as I. Anyone would think he was called Ian.

Hope you like it. I thought it would look nice near the reception desk, instead of the poster about chlamydia.

I showed it to Mrs Wottle. She said that she thought the river looked sinister.

Quick as a flash, I replied, 'it's a bridge over troubled water!'

How we laughed again.

Could it be the tablets making me so quick witted? I never used to be like this.

See you soon, doc,

Yours patiently

W Wottle Esq

25th  April ·

Busy week this week for the author with two talks.

The first was this afternoon. I've just got back and am just about thawed out. I was worried it wasn't going to go well. The omens were not good.

Firstly, the lovely spring/summer dress I had planned to wear was totally inappropriate I rtealised as I looked out of the window at the snow falling. Then my favourite black shoes....wait until I find out who has chewed the heels without my knowledge....not pointing the paw of suspicion at anyone in particular, Hector and Rufus.....but....

So a total rethink was required but soon I was setting off in a nice woolly dress, thick tights, boots and a winter coat. For goodness' sake, it's nearly May.

The talk was to the Bedale 4th Ladies group, so called because they meet every fourth week and was held in the Chantry Hall, a place I am very familiar with as this is where Hector and Rufus attend dog school every Friday evening. It seemed weird to be there without them but fortunately I managed to avoid saying things like 'sit' and 'stay' to the small, but eclectic audience. Nor did I throw them dog treats every now and then.

Half the group were off on a trip, so that left about ten of us only which was quite cosy and I can only assume that the talk went well as I was instantly booked for next year.

£50 was raised through sales for breast cancer research, which will be added to funds raised on Wednesday when I speak to the much much larger group, the Harrogate Ladies forum (very much more scary as a lot of them will know me).

Watch this space! A report will follow!

27th April ·

Goodness me, another talk.

Today I battled through the snow and hail to Harrogate, trusty PA at my side ( you know who you are, so thank you again). Despite the awful weather we arrived in time for my speaking engagement with the Ladies Forum. Forty or more redoubtable ladies were waiting, a few familiar faces amongst them.

Until I started on the speaker's circuit, I really had no knowledge of all these groups that exist but without exception, they are all full of friendly and receptive people who love to sit and listen.

It seemed to go well. Laughter occurred in the correct places only, which is always a help.

With a percentage of books sales going to charity, this week I have raised another £150 for breast cancer research.

There are some photos also today. Look closely and the more observant of you will notice that yes, I do have another dress and that I also use the flamingo technique for public speaking, that of standing on one leg.