The Official Website  for Carol Margaret Tetlow

The Secret Diaries of Hector and Rufus July 2014

June 30th,

The secret diary of Hector and Rufus, aged very nearly nine weeks old.....

Our kingdom is enlarging. Note we have taken over the cat hammock but we're not sure who that interloper watching us is. We have found our voices and, though they may be high pitched and squeaky ( and not in the least but frightening ) we are giving Jester as good as we get. We heard some evil rumours that we were going to be cut down from four meals a day to three, so we went all pathetic and wobbled a bit and the humans fell for it! Ha, they are so gullible! They are even talking of increasing our portions. Now that's more like it...

July 13th

The secret diary of Hector and Rufus, heading towards eleven weeks old......continued

It's such fun living here. These human peeps are so easily fooled! Here are one or two tips on camouflage advice.

Wallow in the paddling pool ( by the way we now have one each, though we still prefer to share) then roll in the orchard, get covered with dry, brown lawn cuttings, do something VERY naughty but then stand still. You will be mistaken for a kiwi fruit and the male human peep will get the blame (tee hee).

Alternatively excavate the cat litter tray after splashing in the water bowl. This results in the appearance of a scotch egg and again, you'll never be recognised.

We're not too sure about this heat. We have to lie like kippers on a cool floor during the day but then..... In the evening when it's cooler we can go really really mad! Set off from the back door, in round to the left, onto the sofa, round the sofa, leap onto the ironing, rummage for a bit, leave paw marks and cat litter, dive elegantly with front paws outstretched back onto the floor, under the table, out of the door, round the lounge, down the corridor and into the spare room. Pause for a while for a poo ( they never think of looking in here for us) and then back down the corridor, into the madhouse that Bill Tetlow calls his office, pull the wires out of his computer, back into the kitchen, onto the sofa and lie very still, with eyes closed. Human peeps will mistake heavy breathing for deep sleep every time......

More soon because we are fast asleep now ( or so they think)

July 15th

Dear Bill Tetlow, thank you very much for putting up a paddling pool each for us. We love it that

you are so smitten with us, and think that we should each have our own possessions, rather than

 share, which is just how it should be. But we wonder at the wisdom of your latest purchase, the s

wings. Our legs are not long enough for us to get on the seats. Plus we feel very weak and sick when

we whizz back and forth which could result in some unpleasant regurgitation on the carpet.

Lots of love, Hector and Rufus xxxx

Ps a slide might be nice, though...

July 17th

The secret diary of Hector and Rufus, aged 11.5 weeks. Progress report.This is how much we love our big brother Ben. Yes, he has the same dad as us, so we really are brothers. As you can see, he is really good fun and lets us crawl all over him, chewing as we go. Big excitement today as we explored the bottom paddock. We've never been that far before and we had to stay very close to the female peep as we were a bit scared. But we loved it and found several token bites of donkey poo which were truly delicious.

It's been very hot today so the paddling pools have been very welcome and in two weeks time, we shall be going for our first swim in the real river

July 20th

The secret diary of Hector and Rufus, aged 11 weeks and 5 days.

We were deserted. Left alone to our own devices with only three gravy bones each and a bowl of water. How could the peeps do this to us?

They went to Boroughbridge and Aldborough show with Fergus and Daisy. We had the last laugh as they got SOAKED as it bucketed down with rain, drenching everyone and everything. The human peeps came back looking bedraggled and that's being polite.

We have got our revenge though since they've returned. We have gambolled around the house, first wetting our paws and then stamping in the cat litter tray. Maximum mess in all rooms!

They won't leave us again in a hurry. Anyway in another week, we can go too! Hooray!

Ps this is a photo of Fergus, who was champion donkey today. Daisy got a second, so did well too. We could have done better though......I mean we're just adorable...and modest too

July 22nd

The good news is that we are twelve weeks old today and we have lived at Lamb Hill for five weeks. Bad news is that we've been cut down to three meals a day. Don't they realise we're growing? Everyone here tonight is a little on edge as Ben, who has been limping for a while, goes for an X-ray tomorrow on his elbow/shoulder. We hope very much that he hasn't got a fracture and needs an operation as we need him to play chase and tug of war with. Worse still he is on nil by mouth so there is no prospect of gravy bones this evening whatsoever. Here's a photo of us on the sofa, which we had to rearrange first. It's a hint that we'd like bunk beds! Bet they don't catch onto that one...

July 24th

We are fast asleep, gathering energy for tomorrow- our first walk, proper walk. We're off to the river and we cannot wait. The human peeps say it's about time as we are so completely bonkers in the house that we need to blow off steam. Ben and Jester have promised to teach us how to swim but we think we know how to already. Jester has requested to come back out in the kennel with us at night so all in all, progress.

We've had a lovely day today with visitors our size though we take exception to them getting in one of our paddling pools, when they had their own. Lovely to see Emma and Charlie and Annabelle though we do feel we will never quite get over the incident on the lawn(enough said) and the sight of Annabelle after a chocolate mini roll.

We just love visitors and have particularly exciting ones next week who speak. Japanese! Bet you can't wait to heat more.....

Lots of licks, (oops we wrote lots of lice to start with!!!!) Hector and Rufus xx

July 25th

Oh, we LOVE going to the river! We ran, we paddled, we splashed scantily clad nymphs and nymphettes who were sunbathing and jumped up at dogless peeps who were wearing white trousers. We met some nice dogs and Jester snarled at them if they got too close. Hector fell down a rabbit hole and was very brave, running ahead with Ben but I had to keep running back to mum to make sure she was still there.

The only disappointment was that we hoped Bill Tetlow would lead by example and swim in the river but after a nasty dental experience in the morning, he was feeling weak and wobbly and had had to have pobs for lunch. He is calling for sherry now, no recovery seems imminent.

We are out for the count now, dreaming of pebbly beaches, sand martins,

 grass awash with fascinating smells and the great unknown.

Best of all, we are going back tomorrow!

Lots of love, Rufus xx

July 26th

So what's all the excitement out of the window? Oh it's Jester having her tea. We've finished ours and we're looking for second helpings. Harrumph, she's gobbled up every last bit. Let's have a chase round the house instead. Only wimps succumb to this heat. It's been a good day. Started off by helping pick up the donkey poo. Why pick it up when you can eat it? Then we startled the postman. We have to be careful as he has Rottweilers so we don't want to get on the wrong side of him. We helped with the housework, hanging onto the brush, ran away with the pegs so the washing couldn't be hung up and are hoping for a river trip when it's cooler and the human peeps look less bedraggled (if this is possible ).

Ps we chased those laid back cats too....

July 27th

We went for our second walk today. It's been so much cooler, still warm but perfectly pleasant for messing about by the river. Jester was rolling in something nasty and Ben was playing with the ball. Suddenly the human peeps threw the ball into the deep water. Off went Ben, followed by Jester (to wash off the horrid pong-she's very well trained), we looked at each other, nodded and ran in after them. Before we knew it we were swimming like little tadpoles and the human peeps were beside themselves with excitement. Why? They are easily pleased. Don't they know we're water dogs?

Anyway we swam and swam and loved every minute of it. Ben looked after us and stood on the river bank jumping up and down until we were back safely. Even Jester looked pleased with us and that's saying something.

To celebrate, when we got home, after a good rub a towel, we had yummy bone biscuits and slept ALL afternoon!